Let me ask you. Are you a prick (or bitch) magnet?
Almost all of us at some time in our lives have had the misfortune of being caught out by a prick, and we wind up wishing we’d never met them. We’re left wondering, “What the hell happened? How was I blindsided by that prick? Why didn’t I see it coming?”
P.J. Cavé has written a brilliant prick-exposé. He gently guides you into developing fabulous Prick Radar, so you can detect these pricks before they do you any real damage. With practice, your gut will very quickly tell you who is, and who is not, a prick.
P.J. reveals prick agenda, thinking and character, and the strategies pricks use to take control of you. And he provides a simple metaphor you can use as a pre-test to identify potential pricks on first meeting.
Most important to your recovery and to your future prick-free life, P.J. helps you identify those things within you that perceptive pricks use to bypass your radar. He calls these things your ‘prick traps’. But that on its own is not enough. You need to know how your prick traps got there, how they’re activated and triggered, and what you must do to dismantle them. P.J. reveals all.
Based on personal experience, P.J. discusses how to deal with pricks, the steps you must take to recover from them, and how to move forward and live your future life with really great Prick Radar.
If you apply the tools PJ provides, you’ll not only avoid pricks, but be enabled to form healthy relationships with people you can trust: relationships in which mutual positive regard, and perhaps even love, are hallmarks. He knows it’s possible, because he’s a recovered prick-victim. Now, his life is full of people he loves, and who love him.
Above all P.J. wishes to empower you, to help you grow, but most especially, to help you be prick-free. This book will transform your life: from victim, into victor. Don’t put up with it anymore.
Install your Prick Radar!
"What a compelling read! It is a straight shooting book that is both enlightening and powerful. I appreciate the way that P.J. has been open about his own struggles with being abused in many and various parts of his life, as well as the story of his healing and freedom from abuse. P.J.’s honesty is both refreshing and confronting and his insight and wisdom are evident from beginning to end.
This book offers a concise and ‘full picture’ of abuse and healing, including prevention of the cycle that often repeats in the life of those who find themselves the victims of abuse. This is the book that brings together the who, what, why, when and how of abuse but also clearly presents the solutions. Pure gold!
P.J.’s easy to read book is set out in a way that is easy to follow and has practical guidelines that are clear, helpful and doable."
Cheryl Smith - Counsellor
"Brilliant exposé. Engaging. Extremely insightful.
I wish I’d had this book 5 years ago. It could’ve saved me a mental health injury, or at least, substantially lessened its severity. I have learned the hard way that the legal system does not understand how to recognise or deal with seriously dangerous or emotionally abusive pricks. And legal rights to compensation will never fully compensate you for what the prick has stolen from you. Your best defense is as PJ Cavē recommends: early detection and exit. Learn from PJ what a prick looks like, and when you are being damaged, make an exit for your own safety. Because as PJ notes, the cost of staying is always greater than the cost of leaving.
PJ outlines with great clarity the many subtle manipulative devices that pricks use to reel you in and keep you under their control, to keep you acting in accordance with their will, and to confine you to a box they have created just for you. A box that suits them, not you. He incisively and insightfully explains why you are totally justified in being upset at their seemingly innocuous behaviour, and why and how you are being so damaged, whether anyone around you gets it or not.
If you have ever felt extremely angry or upset because someone is hurting you, and you can’t seem to stand up for yourself, and no-one else seems to understand that this person is being an asshole to you, then chances are you are dealing with what PJ calls a dangerous or total prick.
As he points out, most pricks are wolves in sheep’s clothing. The whole time they may be making out that they are reasonable and honourable - that they are just trying to protect you or look after you. But in reality they are persistently but covertly undermining you, your self-respect, your capacity to defend yourself, and ultimately, if you do not exit in time, your ability to function in every other area of your life. PJ unmasks them, explaining how to identify wolf behaviours so they can’t fool or deceive you with their imitation sheep’s clothing.
If you, or a friend, are continually being hurt or upset by someone, it is highly likely that you are either living with, working with, or have been damaged by, a seriously dangerous or total prick.
Read this book! "
Kate, former lawyer (real name withheld due to legal matters associated with a prick)
"Love, it, love it, love it! If you have ever met a prick then this book is (probably) for you and if you are a prick it’s definitely something you should read.
This book is an easy read and covers a most interesting topic. As with most other people, I have had my share of contact (and may I say ‘relationships’ of sorts) with the proverbial ‘prick’ and a few notable run-ins with the occasional ‘bitch’. This has often left me wondering about what had just happened and how on earth could I have managed this encounter in a better way. If only this book had been available then. I might have had an entirely different life!
Once I became used to the ‘in your face’ Aussie vernacular of PJ Cavē and his lively descriptions of his nemesis Deprick’s (not his real name) antics, I could not help but be fascinated with the content and the subject matter. PJ outlines the character and mentality of pricks, and the strategies they use to get one up on you and the punishments they mete out if you do not comply with their manipulative (often verbally) behaviour.
PJ doesn’t stop here, though, he skillfully looks at the impacts on the victim and the victim’s part in this unfortunate interaction. He provides the impetus for the reader to develop the discernment to identify their own ‘prick traps’; what activates and triggers these and more importantly how to dismantle them. This is an empowering book; giving direction for the development of your very own ‘Prick Radar’ and importantly providing strategies for recovery from Prick Abuse.
This book fills a very important gap, identifying the problem with pricks in a highly readable way and supplying the means to develop your own solution to this very common and personal form of abuse. "
Noelene Sharp – N.D, R.M.T, B. Ed, D.A.H.S (Alt Animal Health), Dip Lab Tech (BioMed Sc)
"PJ Cavē has written a very important book here, that exposes and defines the pricks that we all have and will all come across in our lives. PJ gives us clear tools that we can easily use to deal with these people, before they take hold of our lives. These tools can also help us to both cope with, and reclaim control of situations that have already gotten out of hand, due to the activities of pricks who have wormed their way into our world.
I love it that PJ has not only shown us how to recognise pricks and their controlling ways, but how to deal with them. Further, if this book had been available when I was a young man, it would have saved me a lot of the pain and stress that I suffered as a result of pricks who stuck their controlling ways into my life.
This is one book I would recommend for adults of all ages, to be used as a manual to help guard against, and protect from, these parasites. To be read and re-read. Well done PJ."
Douglas Geri: Retired Businessman, Retired Pastor.
P.J. Cavē has written a straightforward and down-to-earth book that outlines, in clear and concise terms, the paths to be taken to avoid being trapped by a prick. The book is suited to ordinary people and professionals alike. As someone who worked for some years in the domestic violence sector, I can see how it would be an extremely useful resource for domestic and child abuse survivors.
Who amongst us hasn’t fallen foul of a prick or bitch? You know the type: they know better than you about everything, including your own capabilities; they do whatever it takes to get their way (such as lying, physical violence, emotional and actual manipulation); they accept responsibility for nothing; and any overt concern for you is underscored by what benefits them the most. They are the sort who, as the saying goes, “believe their own publicity”. They use dishonesty and other approaches to get what they want. They feel they are entitled to do whatever it takes to get their desires (often through controlling you), with no acknowledgement of the damage done to you in that pursuit. They give you gifts or flattery, to hook you into their prick trap and ultimately make you obligated to them. Not all pricks or bitches do these things to the same degree, but the strategies tend to remain the same.
Using Australian terminology and slang, P.J. has written an “in your face” exposé of the make-up of these prick/bitch individuals and the tricks used to get their way, to manipulate and coerce you into doing what they want you to do. P.J. draws from his own experiences with total pricks/bitches to demonstrate their strategies. To get at you, they will use coercion, such as fait accompli behaviour; obstruction or interference; verbal bullying and harassment; threats; naked force or strong punishment, among other tactics. P.J. gives detailed examples of how to deal with their unacceptable behaviours.
But more importantly, P.J. shows us how to fine-tune our inbuilt “prick radar” so we can sense their evil and controlling intentions, and avoid falling into their prick traps. He shows you how to develop your natural lie detector. Listening to your gut is a fundamental part of detecting a prick. Pricks present a façade over their true selves, manifested in how they present themselves: their body language and demeanour. They try to charm the socks off you, to such an extent you may even realise you’re being conned. Another indication is when you find yourself walking on eggshells around that person so as not to engage ‘the beast’.
This is a great book. I commend it to you.
Dale Gietzelt. Retired Information Manager in the Domestic Violence Sector.
"The information in Prick Radar is a goldmine. As a school teacher, I am excited by this brilliant resource. It is an incredible book which has arrived in time to help everyone who has been or is being manipulated by well-meaning but misguided teachers and parents.
Learning to recognize manipulation by any person who purports to be a friend in this age of confusion and political correctness is an essential tool for teachers to understand the trauma faced by so many confused students.
The extent to which Prick Radar is able to expose the dangers of what seems on the surface to be caring attitudes has excited me because of its direct and uncompromising language and preparedness to call a spade a spade, or a prick a prick.
The guidelines by P.J. of how to choose a good and safe mentor will enable me, as they will all concerned parents and teachers, to tread the dangerous path of helping a student to survive the minefield. Absolutely invaluable. The section on knowledge + experience = intuition will help us all to assist them to recognize dangerous behaviours and how to combat them."
Myles Pellowe - Teacher
"The vast majority of us go through life just being good people; good to our family, friends, colleagues and animals. Sadly, there are some amongst us who physically and emotionally hurt others, sometimes quite intentionally.
P.J.Cave has drawn from personal experiences and psychological techniques to deliver a powerful and compelling book that can be utilised by layman and professional alike to recognise, diffuse and ultimately avoid the ‘pricks’ we encounter in life. The information in Prick Radar is pure gold, and easy to implement.
I recommend this to all as a valuable asset in both business and personal life."
Wayne Stafford, Managing Director, Sports and Muscle Medicine (Australia) Pty. Ltd.
"As a young woman who has worked in management in heavily male-dominated industries for close to 10 years, I was really excited to get my hands on an early copy of ‘Prick Radar’. The title intrigued me and I was interested to know how my own radar measured up. I'm happy to report that my past experiences and those I have witnessed of colleagues have helped me hone my skills in noticing and dealing with Pricks in the workplace. I still found this book insightful and a timely reminder that unfortunately not everyone's motives are pure and facades are sometimes hard to pick. The way PJ has intertwined his personal experiences with information on how to recognise and deal with Pricks in your own life made this book not only an interesting read but eye-opening as to just how far some people will go."
Monique Moore - Business Manager.
"Having been a serial prick victim from as far back as I can remember I am really excited that a book such as this has finally been written. Bravely drawing on his own experiences with pricks, PJ has produced an absolute masterpiece – a fantastic and helpful guide about pricks, their strategies and how to avoid or escape them. PJ’s ‘realness’ and courage in calling these offenders and their behaviour for what it is, is also inspiring and admirable. His blunt style, no-nonsense-approach certainly captured my attention. He states what most other people would be too afraid to state for fear of offending people. In my opinion, this is the right approach in tackling the current “prick” problem that we are facing in Australia and the world. Having already lost 15 women and 3 children to domestic violence (as of 21/3/19) in Australia alone since the beginning of the year, it is time for a new approach.
I also appreciated PJ’s humour in addressing such a painful issue. My sides were sore from laughing, and I found that his use of humour and explanations using witty and hilarious terms helped me to retain the information that I was reading.
I found this book so captivating that I was unable to put it down once I started reading it. I found myself continually nodding in agreement as I was reading, and recognising the things PJ was saying to be true from my own encounters and dealings with multiple pricks. I look forward to using it as a resource in working with domestic violence survivors. This book is going to help so many people."
Jane Power, Counsellor, Advocate for Survivors of Domestic Violence, former Podiatrist, and Multiple Prick Survivor.
"This is a book that I found I could not put down until the last page. Somewhat distressingly I saw in its pages my behaviour at times reflected, teetering on the edge of prick-ness. Coming from an academic background where we teach the ‘truth’ to innocent young minds, as well as older ones, it is a wakeup call for academics such as myself to accept that others have the right to challenge the way we see the world. The messages and strategies in the pages of this book come at a time when we need them more than ever. Manipulation, or worse still abuse, is never a legitimate strategy for living life and we don’t have to be victim to it. But to achieve this we need guidance and the checklist at the end provides great tactics. This book felt real to me. It stretched out a helping hand that I am glad to hold and feel safer now for it."
Bronwen Cribb, University academic, scientist, speaker and writer on Designing Your Mind.
"P.J. Cavē’s book, Prick Radar, is an insightful guide for recognising and dealing with people in your life who do not have your best interests at heart. P.J. has used his own life experiences to illustrate how easily a manipulator can gain your trust; however, he has also given you tools to help you identify the characteristics and behaviours of such “pricks.”
The primary focus of this book is to help you develop and hone your own prick radar internal detection system so you can recognise the signs in advance and not become a naive victim. In addition to life experiences, P.J. Cavē brings to bear a lot of scientific evidence to support the book’s thesis.
I recommend this book to anyone interested in developing their own radar system to identify and deal appropriately with manipulators who may come into your life."
Dave Fox, Photographer
P.J. Cavē’s Prick Radar speaks from P.J. Cavē’s personal lived experience with what P.J. Cavē
refers to as a “Prick” relating to a toxic, manipulative and/or abusive individual.
P.J. Cavēs shares his past experiences with an individual referred to as Deprick in an effort to
assist others in developing or recognising their own “Prick Radar.” I feel this term relates to gut-
instinct or intuitive warning signs/feelings that warn to the danger of interacting with deceptive
This book touches on what attracts toxic people and the manipulations that they utilise to remain
in someone's life. How they can take control and take advantage to fulfil their own personal
I like that it endorses counselling and to seek support from a trustworthy mentor to manage
interactions and work on personal barriers to seek healthy relationships.
I found this book an interesting read and that it could assist anyone in understanding the
personality traits of destructive people in their lives.
Award Winning Author
I have often wondered how Dad was so good at picking out pricks in such a brief exposure. At the time, I remember thinking that he was just being a hard arse and super judgemental when sharing his thoughts with me about someone he had one just met. Only for these words to ring true over time. After reading PJ’s insight into the nature of the prick radar, I now have the answer to why Dad was so good. Management studies discuss and document narcissism in the workplace in some detail. They discuss the sources of narcissism and the associated negative effects they have on organisations and the poor souls subject to their tyranny and games. However, what they don’t cover is the early identification and practicalities of dealing with narcissists, aka pricks, in the workplace. As we moving into the new century, organisations are becoming more and more collaborative in nature, just to be competitive and survive. Our interactions can ill afford to be subject to the whims and manipulations of pricks at any level. PJ’s insights into prick behaviours and tactics are well worth the read, however the concept of developing a prick radar is gold and will serve anyone well in avoiding, and unshackling themselves from, the time-wasting games of pricks.